Lately I find myself making valiant efforts to grow my library. My tendency is to consume as much literature as possible in the seasons of life where it is plausible. Furthermore, I have never been interested in any one genre. I tend to stay away from “self help” books because, well, I rarely find them helpful. In fact I think they are incredibly biased and often rooted and written out of shame. That’s a blog for another time, perhaps. My driving point here is that despite my urge to want to read, it often ends with me wanting to put the book down and write. Something shifts in me and I feel compelled to write. Here is what I find interesting though; up until recently my writing has been almost entirely private. Many of you reading this blog have reached out to me and complimented these little pieces of my worded. Little do you know I am typing these up on my cell phone with little to no attention to the overall framework of what I would consider organized writing resembles. This is not to belittle myself or disregard your praise, but it does reveal what I already believed to be true. Writing does not matter unless it connects. It doesn’t matter if you write sentences that flow flawlessly, have perfect punctuation, or the most refined vocabulary. If you write without transparency your words will fall on deaf ears. The truth is that I am okay if no one ever reads what I write, because writing is therapeutic to me; a way that I can sort the shuffle in my mind. Regardless of this truth, these are the reasons I will share my writing with you, should you care to know.
-I think we live in a culture that says a lot without saying anything at all. Everyone is posting, tweeting, and perfecting the face of their social media networks, but most often we are speaking at each other, not to one another. Don’t misunderstand me, I think social networks have there place, but they should never replace relationship. It is important that we think more about being meaningful and intentional in our pursuit to lead relationships in “real time.” When I write I feel as though I am able to have conversations with the reader, in ways that give you a clear vision of who I am or aspire to be. It opens doors for new conversations and even new relationships. By giving you my words I give you a piece of who I am.
-We all have a testimony. Every single person reading this blog has faced trials and overcome personal hardships. There are a few hundred of you reading each post. Some of you message me or email me. Some of you are fighting. Some of you are hurting. Some of you have reached the point of wanting to end it all. You may not feel able to, or want to put those testimonies in writing but, I will, and the reason I will is because you don’t feel able to. My encouragement to you is to never stop allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Be vulnerable. Our vulnerability can be really frightening but it can also be the most direct line to one another. Don’t go bearing your heart to the gossip queen of your crew, but slowly ease out of the gate and test people. See who they are and what they are about. My hope is that in an effort to be somewhat vulnerable with you I can be a blessing to your journey. I won’t tell you everything, not everything is to be told, but I promise to tell you what I believe matters and applies to most, if not all of us.
-Writing to me is the equivalent of a personal history book of sorts. The other day I found a notebook I’ve been hoarding for years. It’s just a silly notebook full of Middle School poetry that truly means nothing to me now other than a good laugh and a sigh of disbelief. So why would I be reluctant to toss it? It feels like a part of my personal history book. Dumb as it may seem to me now, it was at one point the height of my emotional processing poured out onto paper. Writing keeps me accountable to the times in my life that drive me toward growth. For that reason, I consider this little side hobby worth continuing.
This little blog has already opened up a lot of conversation with individuals I would not have expected would reach out to me. To those of you who have, thank you. Sincerely. You can and will overcome your present situations. Lean into Christ. Don’t over analyze your relationship to him. He is always in pursuit of you, you just need to slow down enough to hear him. I will write if you will listen and if you ever need someone to talk to I will give you my attention. This is why I write. I write because it connects people to one another and to emotions that get lost in the shuffle of everyday life. I write for the people I love, and I love A LOT of people. In conclusion l ask that you state your preference of he’s my next blog entry should be based on the titles below…
“Day 6: A body in motion”
“Pedestals of Shame”